The Trigger Vault; Words That Shouldn’t Need to Be Said
Why the f*ck am I here?
Congratulations, you stepped on a landmine.
You clicked a word or phrase that shouldn’t have set anyone off; but it did.
That’s what we call a Trigger Word around here: language so needlessly inflated, smug, redundant, or performatively profound that it makes the Foul-Mouth Philosopher foam at the mouth.
Every entry below links to a full-blown rant, etymology roast, or existential tantrum about why the word sucks and why it says more about the speaker than the sentence.
This page is the Trigger Vault; an ever-growing archive of linguistic garbage that keeps me in business.
What counts as a trigger word?
- Pretentious for no reason (“insofar as,” “henceforth,” “vis-à-vis”)
- Redundant filler (“needless to say,” “as previously mentioned”)
- Academic gatekeeping garbage (“scaffolding,” “ontological,” “epistemic”)
- Phrases that mistake faux-wisdom for insight
- Phrases that pre-excuse bad behavior (“I’m just sayin’,” “I don’t want to sound racist, but…”)
- Words people use to sound smart when plain language would’ve worked
- Phrases that reveal ego in 4K
Some are small irritations.
Some are full existential crises… with punctuation.
Either way:
If it shouldn’t need to be said, then why are you saying it?
The Vault Index
| Word / Phrase | Category | Severity | Link |
|---|---|---|---|
| Vocabulary | Pretentious Praise | 🔥 | Read it → |
| Scaffolding | Academic Wankery | 💢 | (incoming demolition) |
| Insofar As | Pseudo-Intellectual Padding | 🤮 | (pending autopsy) |
| Inasmuch As | Sibling to Insofar | 💀 | (colonial cousin of bullshit) |
| It Shouldn’t Need to Be Said | Redundancy Crime | 🧨 | (then why are you saying it?) |
| Seminal | Academic Sex Joke | 🍆 | (stop it) |
| Curate | Lifestyle Pretension | ☕ | (you mean “pick”) |
| Authentic Self | Pseudo-Therapy Trash | 💫 | (you mean “honest”) |
| Has Abs | Gym Bro Delusion | 💪 | (no, it doesn’t) |
| I’m Just Sayin’ | Disclaimers & Deflections | 🧯 | Coward’s comma → |
Meta-triggers
If you landed here mid-rant, that’s intentional.
Each trigger word inside essays links back here as a form of karmic whiplash.
“I’m not racist, but…” Then why are you saying it?
Everything loops.
Every overused word is a mirror.
And some mirrors deserve to be shattered.