You ever meet that guy who’s just trying so hard to be one of the good ones? Yeah, that’s me. I’m the human equivalent of a “This is fine” meme wearing a feminist T-shirt and holding my therapy rock. I’m out here desperately auditioning for sainthood like it’s an open mic night at the Woke …
The Foul-Mouth Philosopher Manifesto Who the F*ck I Am & Why You’re Here 🗣️ Who the F*ck Is Talking My name is Joshua Van Leuven and I’m the Foul-Mouth Philosopher, and this is the Foul-Mouth Philosopher Manifesto. Not a guru, not your life coach, not here to sell you a juice cleanse or some weak-ass …
😇 Fake Humility — My Most Polished Sin Let’s be honest; I have fake humility down to an art form. It’s my favorite camouflage. My emotional shapeshifter. It lets me sound self-aware and superior in the same breath; like, “Oh, I don’t take myself too seriously,” while I’m literally publishing a blog called Foul-Mouth Philosopher. …
💬 Just Sayin’: The Coward’s Comma There is no phrase more cowardly than “just sayin’.” It’s the linguistic equivalent of a nervous giggle after a punch to the face; an attempt to retreat into innocence after launching something cruel, stupid, or both. “Just sayin’” isn’t communication. It’s a parasitic disclaimer; a soft landing for people …
The Trigger Vault; Words That Shouldn’t Need to Be Said Why the f*ck am I here? Congratulations, you stepped on a landmine. You clicked a word or phrase that shouldn’t have set anyone off; but it did. That’s what we call a Trigger Word around here: language so needlessly inflated, smug, redundant, or performatively profound …
Boundary enforcement as urban planning. 🔥 I Burn Villages, Not Bridges Let’s get something straight: I don’t burn bridges. Bridges are for people who hope to come back and apologize. Bridges are concessions, limp excuses, little insurance policies wrapped in brownie points. I BURN VILLAGES. When I decide you’re done, I don’t leave a polite …
🤓 Pretentious for No Reason Every generation breeds a new species of person who thinks English isn’t complete until they’ve dressed it for the opera. They can’t say “also”; it’s “insofar as.” They can’t say “from now on”; it’s “henceforth.” They can’t say “about”; it’s “vis-à-vis.” They can’t say until now; it’s “hitherto.” It’s like …
💬 The F*** Is Vocabulary? Like what do you mean you have a “good vocabulary”? So you can spell the words you know? Good for you. Want a fucking sticker? People act like “vocabulary” is some rare gemstone you mined out of a cave. No. You just learned some words. Congratulations, you unlocked the same …
(currently unavailable) It’s not new.It’s not improved.It’s not even particularly interested in being owned. Still, people keep asking about it.What it does.What it’s for.When it’s coming. The answer is always the same:It already has. Description Grounded. Smooth. Unresponsive. Made from a single, naturally occurring material formed over time under conditions we neither created nor fully …