💬 The F*** Is Vocabulary?
Like what do you mean you have a “good vocabulary”?
So you can spell the words you know?
Good for you. Want a f***ing sticker?
People act like “vocabulary” is some rare gemstone you mined out of a cave.
No. You just learned some words. Congratulations, you unlocked the same DLC every human gets by age three.
And then the smug bullshit starts—
“Wow, your vocabulary is impressive.”
No it’s not. I just said the right f***ing word.
I’m not pretentious.
I’m precise.
I’m not showing off.
I’m communicating.
If you think using the actual word that fits makes me pretentious, that says more about your insecurity than my sentence.
Should I dumb it down for you?
Use fewer syllables?
Say “big word bad” so you don’t feel threatened?
“Wow, you’re so smart, you’re reading that book.”
No, Brenda, I’m on so many painkillers I’m not sure I even have legs right now.
You see a book with a German dude’s name on the spine and jump to:
- I actually understand any of this shit.
- I’m not just trying to look smart.
- There isn’t a porno mag hidden behind Being and Time.
Spoiler: I wasn’t parsing Heidegger. I was just trying to stay awake under fluorescent lights at a gas station at 3 a.m.
🔨 Vocabulary as Toolset
F*** vocabulary.
It’s not a skill, it’s not a flex — it’s just the toolset.
The difference is whether you actually know how to swing the goddamn hammer.
🤡 Cousins of Vocabulary
- Lexicon — vocabulary in a monocle and top hat.
- Glossary — baby dictionary stapled to the back of a textbook.
- Thesaurus — dictionary on mushrooms. Every word is just a bunch of other words that don’t actually mean the same thing.
- Zeitgeist — not even related, just the “vibe word” people throw around to look edgy.
- Jargon — vocabulary sharpened into a prison shiv by professionals so you can’t tell if they’re smart or just gatekeeping.
- Word Bank — vocabulary in a piggy bank you’re not allowed to spend.
☠️ The Douchebag Exception
Yes, there are words that automatically make you look like a douche.
For instance: phonemes.
Nobody drops “phonemes” casually unless they’re a linguistics PhD with no friends.
That’s not vocabulary — that’s an ego tax.
⚡ Vocabulary isn’t intelligence. It’s just the pile of Legos.
What matters is what the f*** you build with them.