(currently unavailable)
It’s not new.
It’s not improved.
It’s not even particularly interested in being owned.
Still, people keep asking about it.
What it does.
What it’s for.
When it’s coming.
The answer is always the same:
It already has.
Description
Grounded. Smooth. Unresponsive.
Made from a single, naturally occurring material formed over time under conditions we neither created nor fully understand.
Polished? Sometimes.
Charged? Only by proximity to your nonsense.
Therapeutic? Depends on your definition of “progress.”
Each unit is completely unique, and also completely identical.
Features
- Does nothing consistently.
- Requires no setup or subscription.
- Compatible with every belief system.
- Pairs beautifully with silence.
- Waterproof, emotionally.
How to Use
- Place it somewhere meaningful.
- Leave it alone.
- Try to learn something from that.
If that feels hard, congratulations—you’re doing it right.
Reviews
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I’ve been staring at it for weeks. I think it’s staring back.” — J.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Didn’t fix my life, but it did outlast my last relationship.” — A.
⭐️
“I threw it. It came back. That’s on me.” — K.
Specifications
- Color: Undefined
- Weight: Variable
- Origin: The planet
- Care Instructions: Stop touching it
Availability
This item is not currently available for purchase.
Or ever was.
Or might be again.
You may join the waitlist